Other Writings We also welcome other writings about parents and families, such as humorous anecdotes, reflections on important topics (e.g., whether to have another child, weaning, working with a child's temperament, keeping a spark alive in your marriage), profiles of mentors in motherhood, losses mourned, deep lessons learned, or tips you wish you had known when your kids were younger. Please send to info@nurturemom.com. (Details: Same as just above. For reasons of space, we generally can't post pieces with more than one thousand words.) Angela's Story Hello Dr. Hanson, My husband and I attended your "Nurturing mom & dad" class at the California Council of Parent Participation Nursery Schools convention yesterday. First of all, I want to say thank you. Thank you for all the work you and your wife have put into this subject. I wasn't aware that my health was declining after the birth of my 1st son. Two and a half years later my 2nd son was born and I went into survival mode, and 2 years after that I was depressed. I would stay in bed dreading the day and only forced myself to get up when my kids would plead with me to get up because they were hungry. I resented my husband and children and was mean to them and felt terribly guilty. I would have thoughts of packing a bag and abandoning my family - I just wanted to get in the car and drive as far away as possible. Then I read an article about the mother who drowned her 5 children and I knew I had to get help before I got any worse. I was at a fork in the road; do something and start to get better, or do nothing and lose everything that was important to me. I went in for my annual well-woman check-up and told my nurse practitioner that I thought I was starting menopause because my periods were becoming scarce and I was depressed. She said I was too young and drew blood. It turned out that my thyroid was low. I felt as though I had been slowly killing myself over the past 5 years by delaying my needs and I made a commitment to myself that day that I would do so no longer. I saw the appropriate health practitioners and paid out of pocket if my insurance wouldn't cover it. I signed up for a healthy cooking class so I could learn to nourish myself and my family. I started going to church on Sundays (it was so hard to go with the kids, so I had been putting it off until they got older; now I just go by myself and get my spiritual and community fix), and I set up two days during the week when I have about 4 hours to myself to do whatever I want (it was very difficult for me at first to call on people for help, now I have a pretty good support system working). It's almost a year later and I am a much stronger and happier person. I am still definitely healing. One of the chronic conditions that I'm still dealing with is thrush in my breasts. My 2nd son and I got thrush while I was nursing him. The doctor treated him but not me, saying that I just had dry, cracked nipples and to apply lanolin to them. It's been almost a year since I've breast-fed my son and I still have thrush in my milk ducts. I don't always have symptoms, but I've come to realized that it's always there because it flares up when I'm stressed. The practitioners that I've seen either don't believe me or do, but have never heard of this. The literature that I've looked through discusses yeast in most places except the breasts (oral, vaginal, skin, GI tract). My son's pediatrician suggested diflucan, but I don't know enough about what the long term effects on my body will be. Right now I'm just dealing with it through diet, internal cleansing, supplementation, drinking more water, healing my sleep habits, and being happy and reducing my stress. I'm also seeing a DO who's treating me homeopathically and with cranio-sacral therapy. A book that has helped me tremendously is The Detox Solution, by Patricia Fitzgerald. It demystified body function, nutrition, toxins and how they relate to each other. It was a book that I picked up and was able to start making positive changes right away, like increasing my intake of water. It has provided me with a wealth of information that I can integrate at my own pace. For instance, if I don't eat something raw with a meal, I take enzymes and get on with my day without dwelling on it. I know that as I become less and less overwhelmed and burnt out, I become better at planning and providing good nutrition. It feels so good to no longer be consumed with guilt about not feeding myself and my family perfectly. There is a lot of pressure put on mothers to be perfect: are we feeding our children properly, do we let them watch too much TV, are the games we play with them educationally stimulating enough, are our homes clean, are our husbands happy? Striving to be perfect only got in the way of my actually enjoying being with my family. Now I'm focusing on just being present with my husband and children, which is a lot nicer way to live. Thank you for your time. I look forward to reading your book and am definitely going to recommend your website to all the mothers I know (because they are all suffering quietly). Angela